Quotes from Alley Cats

Grace: I think they felt bad about losing.
Will: They shouldn't take it so seriously.
Grace: It's just a friendly game.
Will: Yeah. *pause* We kicked their asses though.
Grace: Like the dogs they are.

Jack: Oh, look at that: butt-crack theater. Let's just hope it's a one-act.

Jack: Did you see God? Is she mad at me?

Jack: I know CPR.
Karen: You know CPR?
Jack: Oh yeah. I had to do it on my father when I told him I was gay. Only, I think it just confused him even more.

Will: Charlton Heston's on Leno tonight. We can watch Moses extoll the virtues of semi-automatic weapons.

Grace: If no one wants to play with me, then I'm just gonna go to my room and play with myself. *pause* By myself. I meant by myself.

Karen: These lips don't touch anything in a track suit.
Jack: Karen, even fashion victims can be choking victims.
Karen: Are you sure? Maybe it's nature's way of thinning out the herd.

Will: Only Grace can put the Grace in the gracious.

Karen: Help me, help me, I've got a beached Italian in my office!

Jack: Stan, your husband... you remember, Stan, your husband? Yeah, he's down in the car with the kids and the nanny and the goiter.
Karen: His mother's here?

Will: You don't have to lose to have fun, Grace, you're not France.