Quotes from Oh Dad, Poor Dad, He's Kept Me in the Closet and I'm So Sad

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Will: "Come on, your dad's great."
Grace: "Yeah, in a parallel universe where my hair's straight and so are you."

Will: "Grace, don't bogart the dad."

Grace: "The only thing my dad ever gave me was feet the size of canoes."

Karen: "Hi, poodle."
Jack: "Who's your daddy?"
Karen: "You are."

Grace: "Hey, Jack, how are you doing?"
Jack: "Sad, lonely, fatherless, seconds away from recording a country album."

Karen to Grace: "Lord, you are just as simple as that blouse you're wearing."

Will: "Oh my God, I'm two high-balls and a tight dress away from being mom."

Grace to Will: "Until then we're married. I guess that explains why you haven't touched me in fifteen years."

Karen: "Even on skid row I'm funny."

Jack: "Oh my God, you found my dad. Oh my God, I hit on my dad! Ew."
Karen: "Ew."
Jack: "Ew."
Karen: "Ew."
Jack: "Ew."
Karen: "Ew."
Jack: "I need soap. I need a Handi-Wipe for my brain. Oh, I hit on my father. I'm Soon-Yi. Ugh."
John: "So, Jack, why don't we go some place where we can be alone."
Jack: "Ew."
Karen: "Ew."
Jack: "Ew."
Karen: "Ew."
Jack: "Ew."
Karen: "Ew."
Jack: "No, you don't understand, you're my daddy."
John: "Not yet."
Jack: "Ew."
Karen: "Ew."
Jack: "Ew."
Karen: "Ew."

George: "Wow, a lifetime achievement award. That's really an honor. My son's gay."

Grace: "The wife is always the last to know."

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