Quotes from To Serve and Disinfect


Grace to Will: "No matter how bad you're doing, chances are Jack's doing much worse."

Jack: "F.Y.I., you S.O.B., cater waitering is T.U.F. F."

Jack: "You couldn't do my job for even one night."
Will: "Jack, a monkey could do your job provided he had a tux and a lisp."

Jack: "Be at the Waldorf at 5 o'clock and rent a tux."
Will: "I have a tux."
Jack: "No you don't. I borrowed it."

Karen: "What are you lookin' at, Rogaine failure?"

Service-man: "Just rent 'Next to Godliness.' You'll find it in the adult section."
Grace: "Adult? Adult like Merchant Ivory, or Adult like, 'Gee, thank God you two plumbers arrived?'"

Grace: "Is dirty little pig boy the other white meat?"

Karen: "I was just out of college, I was broke, it's the oldest story in the world. Boy meets girl. Boy wants to girl to do dominatrix film. Girl says, 'Naked?' Boy says, 'Yeah.' Girl says, 'Forget it.' Boy says, 'Okay, then just wear this rubber dress and beat the old guy with a scrub brush.' Girl says, 'How hard.'"
Grace: "Yes, that is an old story."

Grace: "I will look at you the same way I always have: as a spoiled shrill gold-digging socialite who would sooner chew off her own foot than do an honest day's work."
Karen: "Oh, honey, I love ya."

Will: "Jack, if I sounded anything like that guy, I'm sorry."
Jack: "Will, letting me keep this tux means never having to say you're sorry."


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