Quotes from Terms of Employment

---

Will: "Sexual harassment? Starring the guy that asked his co-worker at Starbucks if he had two nipples for a dime?"
Jack: "Which, by the way, was the beginning of a very fulfilling three-day relationship."

Will: "Sweetie, you need a real litigator, not a corporate attorney. Especially one who spent the last month arguing the case of ass vs. sofa cushion."
Grace: "What is this? Do I hear a doubt, Mrs. Doubtfire?"

Jack: "I've updated my special skills. I now know stage combat, banjo and as of last night I can drive a commuter ferry... sort of."

Ben: "You two are more than friends, but less than lovers. You're gay, and she's straight."
Will: "Very good. Now if you can guess my weight you'll get a T-shirt that says 'That's really none of your business.'"

Will: "That's why I should never meet a legend. It's always disappointing. Like the time I met Big Bird at the Ice Capades. Not so big."

Grace: "Ha!"
Will: "Ha?"
Grace: "Oh, he knows what I meant."

"Jack? Jack."
Jack: "I'm sorry, I'm at one with my character right, so from here on in could you please refer to me as Mr. Weckerly?"
"Uh, no."

Karen to Jack: "Honey, what are you doing? That tongue of yours could have a career."

Ben: "I'm going to a dinner. They're honoring African-Americans who run big-time law firms in New York City. It's being held in a phone booth on the Upper East Side."
Will: "Is that the same phone booth where they held the 'Gays for Buchanan' rally?"

Jack to Karen: "Keep your boobies away, I'm trying to imagine Matt Damon."

---

Back to episode info