Quotes from Fear and Clothing


Grace: Will, open the door. Will!
Jack: What is going on?
Will: Probably a fire... with really cute firemen.

Mipanko: Don't worry, Jack has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. The Navy SEALs, they train him for this sort of thing.
Grace: So, you two are pretty close, huh?
Mipanko: As close as two men can get in eleven minutes.

Could we talk about your toenails?
I'm sorry, I'll cut them.
Don't you need them for tree-climbing and warding off predators?

Will: Did I just scream like a woman?
Grace: Don't flatter yourself, you scream like a girl.

Will: Why is Mipanko wearing my kimono?
Grace: Blanche, I think the bigger question is why do you have a kimono?

Karen: I think I'm gonna give the boys a shimmy.

Jack: What is she doing here? It's 9:45, shouldn't she be at lunch?
Karen: What is she doing here? Shouldn't she be at the west side Y bobbing for boyfriends?

Will: There's so much hair at the bottom of the bathtub I swear it's about to ask me if I want a falafel.

Will to Jack: You're a homo without a home, I know.

Grace: Where are you going?
Will: Where every red-blooded American man goes when he needs to blow off steam. The sweater department at Bergdorf's.

Jack: If you need me I'll be out on the street, sleeping in a hat, tissue boxes for shoes, selling figurines of kittens made from scraps of metal and old soup.

Grace: So.
Will: Yeah.
Grace: So, we're living together again.
Will: Yes, we are.
Grace: Are you sure about this?
Will: Sweetie, I have never been less sure about anything in my life.
Grace: Oh, thank God, me too.


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