Quotes from Husbands and Trophy Wives


Will: Oh, you see, she's not listening to her caddy. He told her the green was fast.
Grace: I wish I had a caddy. Someone to tell me about the hazards up ahead and carry my stuff.
Will: I think I'm your caddy.

Jack: Oh, I'm so excited. Gosh, it's been so many years, I hope I can pull off a thong.
Grace: Isn't the point of these weekends to pull off someone else's.

Jack: We're here, we're queer...
Will: ...give us a light beer.

Will: Something tells me the, uh, the baby oil is actually going to be used on babies this year.

Karen: Well, well, well, look what the cat cleaned up, showered, exfoliated, powdered, lipsticked, Guccied, and dragged in.

Grace: You're jealous of my hot black loveeeeeeer.

Rosario: Look, I'm gonna tell you something, and if you repeat it I'm gonna wash your mouth out with toilet cleanser.
Grace: You're lovely.

Will: I just have to find the right guy... and the right uterus... hopefully not in the same person.

Jack: I wouldn't do it for a hundred dollars.
Will: How about fifty?
Jack: Fine.

Karen: Ah, Smitty, why is there so much pain in the world? So much cruelty. Can you tell me that, Smitty.
Bartender: My name is not Smitty.
Karen: I don't need your life story, nose hair, just fill 'er up.

Karen: Hey, back off, Lezzy Borden.

Grace: Look, I need you to do something for me.
Ben: Anything, baby.
Grace: I need you to hit on Karen.
Ben: Please tell me you said, "I need you to PUT a hit on Karen."

Jack: What are you talking about? You just did the soccer mom arm save.

Jack: You're gonna be a great dad because for the last ten years you've been a great one to me.
Will: Wanna stop for ice cream?
Jack: Nah.
Will: Wanna go to a bar and look at hot guys?
Jack: I love you, Daddy.


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