Quotes from The Needle and Omelet


Will: Great! Where am I supposed to shop now, the big and tall and old and gay store?

Grace: I've already fooled him into liking me. I don't know if I have the energy to fool two older wiser people who I can't confuse by having sex with.

Karen: Oh, Will, uh, someone was asking about you in the elevator. Yeah, it was your youth and it wants its shirt back.

Karen: I am planning my entire weekend around it. Tonight I'm at your showcase, laughin' and cryin'. Tomorrow I'm at Dermie's, pumping my face full of enough Botox to erase any sign that I ever laughed or cried. Sundays I go to worship at St. Patty's, or the Rusty Nail, whichever has happy hour.

Zandra: What in the hell is this, bitch?
Jack: Well, what do you mean? I'm acting.
Zandra: Oh, is that what that smell is? You stink.

Will: A man stares humiliation in the face and says, "Don't I know you?"

Karen: Does my little mo wanna get a little Bo?

Grace: We just ordered mimosas, which I believe is French for "I don't want to wait 'til noon to get hammered."

Karen: Mommy's got a deep one today. Break out the crap they're testing on rats and pigs.

Grace: No one likes the theater, it's just an expensive nap.

Karen: Welcome to the wax museum, honey, where nothing ever moves and people are always amazed at how life-like you are.

Grace: If you ever lie to me again they're gonna have to stitch your 'nads back together.


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