Quotes from The Accidental Tsuris


Lyle: There she is, the woman who set my heart on fire. Which is a nice change, since the women I'm usually with cause a burning feeling in an all together different area.
Karen: Get lost, David Cop-a-feel. Just because we once made out like drunk straight girls at a frat party doesn't mean you're wanted here.
Grace: Hi, welcome to my office. And we usually reserve this kind of talk for casual sex Friday.

Grace: Nothing attracts celebrities like a folding table.

Lorraine: Oh, that voice, it's like two cats screwing.

Jack: You know, Janet, I cannot tell you how many times anonymous sex has led to a career change for me.

Lorraine: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the Taboo wrap party. They have them every night... just in case.

Lyle: Come to me, I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.
Karen: No, darling, there's more.
Lyle: No, that'll wait. Come to me, I want to land on you like it's a clear day at Heathrow.


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