Quotes from Flip-Flop, Part 1

Jack: I want no part of your ruthless money-grubbing schemes. You make money, and who loses? The big oil companies and President Bush. I think it's disgusting.

Grace: You know how Ben & jerry's gives 5% of its profits to charity? Well, we're gonna spend 5% of our profits at Ben & Jerry's.

Karen: He's back, he's moved in, and we're shagging like two lieutenants after lights out.

Lyle: Spontanaeity makes it harder to incorporate footwear.

Karen: Wild horses couldn't kill this buzz.

Jack: The streets are really tough out there for a boy alone. Ironically, they're tougher for two boys together.
Stuart: Well, I'm really impressed that you're working with patients already.
Jack: Oh, thank you. Although, as a student nurse, I can't technically touch them, treat them or care for them. But I can look kindly at them and be glad I'm not them.
Stuart: And that's the best medicine of all.

Karen: Hit the road, you syphilitic toad!
Lyle: Karen, if there's one thing I will not tolerate, it's rhyming insults.
Lorraine: Sow.
Karen: Cow.
Lorraine: Runt.
Lyle: Stop it!

Zandra: Suckers. I already had a pen.

Grace: You know how many Ho-Hos Picasso when through when he was painting Guernica?

Zandra: You remind me of Lucille Ball. I hated Lucilled Ball.

Lyle: I don't know why I slept so late. The last thing I remember is eating that oatmeal cooking.
Karen: Oh, heh heh, Rosie puts roofies in them. I hate raisins.
Lyle: Well, anyway, I'm sorry I passed out. I was looking forward to making love to you.
Karen: Oh, you did.

Karen: There are two things that I will not tolerate in this house: racism and constipation!
Rosario: Yeah, you're the Rosa Parks of pooping.

Jack: There they are: the most dangerous thing to happen to old ladies since Ashton Kutcher.