Quotes from Home Court Disadvantage

Will: What is it about putting metal to cotton that makes me feel like a man?

Will: I can't believe you guys are playing tennis today. It's a beautiful sunny day, you should be at the movies.

Jack: You know what they say, a wrinkled ass is the devil's playground.

Karen: Beverly Leslie with your pants so tight, won't you be my partner tonight.

Will: Okay, just a quick stop here and then back to New York for two hours of "Mamma Mia" and a lifetime of trying to get "Dancing Queen" out of our heads.

Marilyn: Boy, time flies when the man you've been devoted to for forty years says, "Stop calling, you're waking us up."

Will: Mom, you don't drink chardonnay in the dining room at ten o'clock in the morning! You pour it in a coffee cup and drink it the bathroom.

Marilyn: I'm hungry. I'm gonna go get the rest of that sandwich out of my bed.

Grace: If we can still have children, that was really funny.

Beverly: Take that, you stupid giants!

Grace: Sweetie, can I get you anything?
Leo: Maybe just a glass of water... and some tiny crutches for my balls.

Will: Hey, mom, you know what we should do?
Marilyn: Your father was selfish in bed.
Will: That's right, the vacuum game!

Grace: If people don't like you, how are you supposed to know if you like yourself?

Leo: Wait a minute, you're concerned about the opinion of a woman whose pet peeves are sobriety and kindness.

Marilyn: The thought of going back to that house makes me want to stop taking my calcium pills and throw myself down the stairs.

Grace: All right then, we're all friends, on the surface, where it counts.