Quotes from The Fabulous Baker Boy

Will: You are spending way too much. And as your lawyer, I gotta warn you, it's not gonna last forever.
Karen: When will it run out?
Will: In three... or four-hundred years.

Karen: I guess I could get rid of Pastry Chef. He makes these weird brownies that don't make me paranoid.

Karen: God, keep your pants on, he didn't propose.

Nick: I've always wanted to write something people didn't throw away fast just to get to the present, y'know.

Edward: If the Health Department would let me, I'd bake in the nude.
Will: Maybe you should send the Health Department a picture, they might make an exception.

Will: I'm dirty and I don't even care.

Edward: You ever kneaded something before?
Will: Never more than right now.

Grace: I am impressed. OutTV is real! I mean, all those people you said you worked with, I can see them too.

Grace: When I was in college I dated...
Jack: A homo?
Grace: No. A guy in a rock band. And I went to see him and it turned out he was...
Jack: A homo?
Grace: No! He was terrible. And it was a big turnoff and I dumped him. And I don't want to do the same thing to Nick, so please read it.
Jack: Sure thing. But Grace... where's that guy from the rock band now?
Grace: I don't know.
Jack: Grace. Where is he?
Grace: He's a chorus boy on the Queen Mary II.

Karen: I smell liquor on my breath. You're drunk!

Jack: Me digs Taye Diggs.

Grace: You can't leave. I don't know if I can get out of this skirt by myself.

Will: I was supposed to give him the sack. Instead, that's where we ended up.
Grace: I don't know that I approve, Will, unless he's hot.
Will: Hot? Are you kidding me? He doesn't even have to put the cookies in the oven, he just walks by them and winks.

Will: Please tell me a schoolteacher helped you over a fence.

Jack: And you don't have to change a thing. Well, except, Susan is now Steve and the hospital is now a gym and euthanasia is now youth in Speedos.

Will: Pansexual? Isn't that just a rest stop on the highway to homo?