Quotes from Birds of a Feather Boa
Will: Hey, did you read the paper today?
Grace: I stopped reading the paper. Now, when people talk about the news, I just shake my head and say, "I know, it's unbelievable." Suddenly I'm informed.
Will: I do the same thing with, "I know, that was some game."
Will: They show no interest in females during mating season, though they are interested in what females are wearing during Academy Awards season.
Grace: Thank God there's someone gay in this city that I haven't dated.
Jack: The ratings for Jack Talk came in, we got a 17 rating and a 10 share.
Grace: Wow.
Will: Yeah, in this case, that means 17 people watched, and 10 of them were dressed as Cher.
Jack: So I figured I'd spend it on an apartment or a whole lot of Jolly Ranchers. Not the candy.
Grace: I've gotta to get my dress to wear in my annual holiday card.
Will: Yeah, when people send out those photos, aren't they usually of a whole family?
Grace: Yeah, like I'm gonna wait around for that.
Grace: Is there a rip cord for this shopping trip, because I'm about ready to yank it.
Karen: Speaking of yankin' it, where are the boys today?
Karen: Honey, that is absurd, there is no such thing as a gay penguin.
Beverley: Well, well, well... Karen Walker and her Jewess, out for a morning shop.
Grace: I couldn't intrude on... on a day that's so intimate and personal and boring.
Beverley: Oh, please, it's not going to be anything like that. More like a party! A celebration of her death!
Benjy: Life.
Beverley: Life!
Jack: Oh, great, gays can't get married but women in the Bronx can have penguines imported just for sex?
Will: That is awful! Y'know, they'd never separate them if they were straight penguins. No, they'd just give them a huge tax break and let them kiss on TV.
Karen: You look so beautiful dressed as a woman.
Grace: I know, right.
Karen: Honey, I know how to get a woman out of a dress. I was very popular at Sara Lawrence.
Grace: Why is your hand on my breast?
Karen: Somebody's gotta steer this thing. It's be a hell of a lot easier if I had a bigger wheel to work with.
Jack: New kitchen, two bedrooms, and as soon as I heard hardwood I jumped on it.
Will: You're like a rice cooker. It takes you a long time, but when it comes out, it's perfect.
Jack: I'm not an idiot, Will, I think I know how much a penguin costs.
Karen: Grace, you got a little something stuck to you.